Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Pete the Cat Save Christmas and Teaches About Generosity

Cover of "Pete the Cat: I Love My White S...
Cover of Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes
I've written before about how much I love the Pete the Cat books.  New this year is a book all about Pete the Cat saving Christmas and it is as clever and colorful as the original.  The story begins with Santa getting sick: "Twas the day before Christmas and Santa was ill.  In the cold winter wind he had caught a bad chill."  In desperation, Santa calls Pete the Cat and asks him to help out by delivering the toys, to which Pete replies, "I'll do it... and although I am small, at Christmas we give, so I'll give it my all."  That phrase becomes the basis of a catchy song which you can download here along with the author, Eric Litwin's rendition of the book.  In the end, Pete saves the day by delivering the last gift just in the nick of time to the cheers of all the residents at the North Pole and even Santa himself.

While the book has a catchy rhyming text and splendid illustrations, my favorite part is the message that Pete shares.  Always willing to help out, he sings over and over that although he is small he can give it his all.  This is an important message for children, especially during the Christmas season.  Just as the message of Christmas came in the form of a small baby, so each of us, children included, can contribute something to someone, somewhere during Christmas if we will just respond to the need and give it our all. 

I used this book in classroom guidance during the last week of school before the Christmas break to teach about generosity and giving.  As part of the lesson, students wrote about a way they were generous in the past and plans they had to be generous in the future. 

Do you have other books about Christmas that you would recommend for teaching children to be generous?  How do you teach children this important leason at this time of the year?

I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!!

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Gifting and the Five Love Languages

christmas 2007
christmas 2007 (Photo credit: paparutzi)
Christmas is almost upon us and as usual there is a lot of discussion about gifts. A big dilemma for me when my children were little was what to get them and how much to get them. The lists they gave me seemed endless and didn't really help because they changed continually, depending on the current toy being advertised on television. Just when I thought I had a plan, the number one gift suddenly plummeted to number twenty and something new was number one.   I stayed frustrated!

Christmas can be a time of blessing our children or spoiling our children.  It's hard to draw the line when blessing can become spoiling but many adults would agree that children today in many households are growing up with a sense of entitlement reather than a sense of empowerment and responsibility.  Here are some messages that spoil our kids:

  • the way to demonstrate love is through things
  • the way to make up for parenting neglect is through things
  • the way to manipulate children into behaving is through providing things
  • the path to happiness is accumulating things
Making sure that  gifts don't become the focus of Christmas is important.  Recognizing our children's personality or temperment is helpful.  As parents we connect best with our children when we recognize the five love languages and speak to our children in those languages.  The five love languages are:
  • Words of affirmation--Could you write your child a Christmas letter that expresses gratitude for all their unique qualities?
  • Acts of service--Could you share a service project together?
  • Receiving gifts--We all focus on this one at Christmas!  One suggestion for managing this aspect of Christmas is to buy your child three gifts: one gift that the child wants, one that they need and one that is a surprise. I think this suggestion is fabulous and it covers all the possibilities. It has an element of fun, an element of practicality or educational value and it also gives the child a choice but forces some prioritizing of items.
  • Quality time--Could your gift be spending some special time enjoying a particular acitivy together?
  • Physical touch--Hopefully this is a part of every day but a gift could focus on a relaxing back rub before bed or an evening of snuggling in front of a movie as a family.
As mentioned in last week's blog, teaching our children to become other-focused rather than self-centered and me-focused is an important step in making sure that our children grow up to be caring compassionate adults. There are many ways to encourage this in our children, but Christmas is a season especially rich in opportunities to bless our children.

 Does your family have a tradition of gift giving?  How do you recognize and address the five love languages in your family?  Not familiar with the five love languages?  Here's a great book:




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Sunday, December 9, 2012

Teaching Children to be Generous

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...
English: Santa Claus with a little girl Esperanto: Patro Kristnasko kaj malgranda knabino Suomi: Joulupukki ja pieni tyttö (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It's the season of giving and I love using this theme in my guidance lessons this month.  In one class, we have watched videos of students who have given back to the community by providing gifts for foster children and another video of a student who as a cancer survivor, regularly visits other children in the hospital who are facing cancer treatment.  We have read a book or two about children who have used their birthday parties to collect food for pets at the local pet shelter.  Students of course have their own personal stories of giving and I like to involve them in thinking about and planning times to be generous to others all through the year.  We finish the lessons with a writing exercise where students answer two questions.  When was a time that you were generous to someone else?  What can you do to be generous in the future?  There are lots of creative and thoughtful answers with everything from helping endangered species to walking an elderly person across the street.  Of course there are always a few that crack me up... Here's my favorite:
  
When was a time that you were generous to someone else?  
Once I gave my mom a flower for mother's day.  
What can you do to be generous in the future?  
I can get a luxury car for my mom.  

I'm thinking, I'm signing up to be that kid's mom...

Developing the trait of generosity is something that can be started early in small ways and then developed into bigger projects as the child grows. Too many children in this country (and adults for that matter) are insulated from the inequalties, the hardship in the world. Developing and participating in service projects as a family is one way to overcome this. Determining the child's interests and concerns and then finding ways to serve in those areas is the best way to get cooperation. Taking into consideration the personality of the family members involved (as in all family projects) is critical as well.  Some children are better at being the leader while others are less likely to take on a leadership role but are quite dedicated workers. Age is of course a factor as well but even young children can learn to give food, toys or clothing to those in need. The best and most life changing service however, is service that involves giving of more than our excess. It involves giving time in service.  Your family might spend a Saturday morning in a soup kitchen for the homeless, or volunteer in a nursing home to visit with residents who have no family. It's cleaning up a park or helping out at an animal shelter. Service that moves us out of our comfort zone and challenges us to make a difference in the world develops children and ultimately adults, of compassion and character.

Here are some of the missions that benefit children that I'll be donating.  One benefits children in Georgia where I live:  Clark Howard's Christmas kids  which benefits foster children, Kenya Outreach Inc which benefits the Kioni  high school in Kenya by providing textbooks and other supplies and Wellspring Living which is making a difference in the exploitation of children through human trafficking.  

What are some of your favorite charitable organizations?  How do you teach children to  be  generous during the holidays?

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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Children Wonder: Where Do I Belong?


Children and adults alike need to feel that they belong somewhere. Sometimes we find our niche in our family, in our circle of friends, or in an affiliation with a particular group of some sort. It might be an affiliation with a school or religious group or community group. Relationships with others are a fundamental part of who we are and contribute to how we feel about ourselves. Yet probably everyone has had a time when a group or a person they desperately wanted to connect with refused to give them the time of day. Sometimes the cold shoulder was deliberate and sometimes it may have been unintentional but it always leaves us feeling hurt and vulnerable. Children in particular struggle with belonging when they are ostracized from a group and this is a common concern in schools these days with the emphasis on anti-bullying programs. As a school counselor, I teach several lessons every year on the importance of accepting differences in ourselves and others.  Some of the concepts that are highlighted in these lessons are:
  • Everyone is different and that's a good thing!
  • We all have areas of strength and areas of weakness
  • Teasing or ostracizing someone because they are different in some way is hurtful. 
  • Everyone wants to feel they belong somewhere and YOU might just be the friend that someone needs.
  • Recognize and affirm your own and other's strengths

In the lovely picture book, Georgette, A Little Frog Discovers the Value of Revealing Her True Self, the author Chandler Goldstein not only touches on the dilemma of wanting to belong where we don’t really fit in but the value of being our true selves anyway. In this story, Georgette, the frog who patterns her party dress after the personal taste of the most popular frog, learns that her own taste is not only more flattering to her, it makes her happiest as well. She also learns the important lesson that by being herself she will actually attract other friends who can be better and truer friends than the popular crowd that she was pursuing. I am excited to add another book to my library of books on staying true to ourselves and valuing our differences.



Author, Chandler Goldstein, resides in Sandy Springs, Georgia and plans to add other books to her series. I wish her much success! This is a great book for school counselors to add to their shelves for lessons on peer pressure and self-esteem.

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