Ten Steps To Creating A Family Vision For 2012

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In an effort to motivate her young charge to move out the door quickly, my friend challenged him in a race.  When he won with very little effort, he announced, "I won because I'm newer than you are!" She had to agree, he was a lot newer than she was.

In the new year, we are encouraged to set new goals and to focus on becoming newer and better.  One way to do this is to develop a family vision statement as well as family goals.  If this is a new idea for you, then you may be wondering how to do begin.  It doesn't have to be a formal agonizing process.  In fact, when I have taught classes on visioning and setting goals, we have made it a fun family affair.  Here's some suggested ways to make it happen in your family:

1. Plan a family together time with refreshments and lots of creative materials available for everyone.  
2.  Consider the personalities of your family members as you approach the  task at hand.  If you have 'D' style members, you want to make sure the time is structured to get results.  You might even want to set up a time frame and plan some structure into the activities.
3. If you have more 'I' wired family members, plan a family party!  Make sure you have plenty of creative materials available for everyone to express their ideas.  You might want to work as a group and brainstorm ideas with one person assigned to be the scribe.  
4. If you have 'S' wired members you will want to make sure the atmosphere is one of peace and harmony.  This doesn't mean everyone has to agree but at the same time keep the meeting positive and upbeat.    This is not the time to moan and groan about the past year, or a family member's irritating habits.  Stay focused on the future.
5. Finally, if you have 'C' personality styles in your family, you might want to assign them the task of writing up the goals and putting everything in order at the end.  
6. Make sure everyone in the family is involved.  Even the youngest members can make pictures of how they see the family working and playing together in the coming year.  Older members can also draw or even list words to describe how they see the family interacting.
7. Spend some time discussing the values that you think are important to your family; love, generosity, achievement, playfulness, for example.  You may want to include some of those in your vision statement.    
8. Make a collage from old magazines, children's art work or photos that is a visual of the family experience in the future. Express the family values and plans through a visual representation of how the family will spend time and interact together in the future.
9. Keep it simple.  The vision statement should be expressed in as few words as possible and should be understandable to even the youngest family members.
10. Post the result in a prominent place in your home where it can be an ongoing reminder to everyone.  Refer to it frequently as you plan your family activities.

The important thing is to make the family vision and goals representative of your family's personality and values.  The vision statement should not be a lengthy dissertation on family life.  Instead, it should be something even the the youngest member can understand.  My vision statement can be boiled down to two words:  Encourage and empower. One of my family goals for the future year is:  To accumulate positive enriching experiences with my daughters.

There is great value in the process and in the setting of goals.  It can be a time of positive family interaction and focus on the future year together.  What about your family?  Do you have  a family vision or family goals?  How have you created them as a family?


Some great books on developing a vision statement:

Mission Accomplished--Parenting With Purpose

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I recently discovered Linda and Richard Eyre in the November issue of Success magazine.  They are leaders in the national movement toward more involved parenting and have written numerous books on parenting and children.  Currently they have been blogging on the Success magazine web site and one of my favorite blogs is entitled:  Live By a Family Mission Statement.  The idea of a mission statement is not new.  Businesses have put in countless hours hashing out their mission statement and then the idea moved on to personal mission statements thanks to Stephen Covey among others.  Now the newest application for mission statements is the family.  I think it is a wonderful and empowering idea that can transform the family just as it has transformed the business and personal development world.

In a nutshell this is how a family might go about developing this all important statement;  call a family meeting and ask all the family members to think about their favorite words that would describe what they think the family should be and what they really want the family to accomplish together.  Some important questions to ask are;  How should we treat each other?  How is our family different and special?  How can our family be the best we can be?  What are your dreams for the family?  Write the brainstorming ideas on a whiteboard.

Next have each family member spend a few private minutes alone writing or drawing or both what they think the mission of the family should be.  They can include their favorite words or ideas from the previous discussion.

When the family members get back together, everyone shares ideas and  develops a two or three sentence paragraph that everyone can agree on as the family mission statement. Next take that paragraph and identify two or at most three words that clearly describe the family mission.  For the Eyres, the words were:  Broaden and Contribute.  For my family, the words are: Encourage and Empower.

Just as developing a mission statement can empower you personally and help you determine your priorities, it can transform the family as well.  Whether you are planning a vacation or chastising a child for a behavior problem, you should ask both the child and yourself, Am I following our family mission statement with my words and actions?  If not, how can I change my words and actions so that I am true to the mission of our family?  Thus, the mission statement becomes the North Star for the family.  I can't think of anything more powerful that you can do as a parent than to develop a mission statement and follow it.