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| Baby shower truffles. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
I’ve attended several baby
showers lately for new parents and it brings back memories of when I was in
their shoes, blissfully anticipating the arrival of our first child. My oldest
daughter will soon be twenty-eight years old and it is certainly cause for
reflection on the many difficult decisions that I have made over as many
years. Parenting is challenging no
doubt but well worth the many hectic and stressful days. It is a wonderful feeling to watch
children grow into confident, happy, successful adults. Just as expecting parents prepare for the upcoming birth with a nursery full of accessories, they must also prepare by discussing and developing parenting skills. Looking back there are probably three questions or
situations that parents need to learn to handle in order to come out
successfully on the other side of parenting.
Know When To Say No
Some parents are reluctant
to say no or to discipline their children. Instead they say maybe later, I’ll think about it or ask
your dad or mom. They hope that
natural consequences or some outside force will create the boundary so they won’t
have to. Never wanting to
disappoint they instead cajole, over explain or simply ignore the dreaded NO
word. Kids (and adults for
that matter) need limits and despite their attempts to convince parents
otherwise, kids are often relieved when the answer is no. Parents who never say no are often
parents who are trying to be a friend instead of a parent. They are parents who
want to be liked at the expense of being respected. Your child will have lots of friends in his/her lifetime but
you are the only parent they will have.
Don’t be afraid to fill those shoes.
Know When To Say Yes
Just as important is the
situation that calls for yes.
Sometimes it means yes you can do it, you are capable, you are smart
enough, energetic or talented enough.
Sometimes it means that as the parent I am willing to encourage your
independence, your ability, your skills even though it will mean that I am
inconvenienced myself in order to do that. Recognize your child’s strengths, nurture and encourage them
as much and as often as you point
out their weaknesses and areas they need to work on.
Know When To Ask For Help
Parenting can be unknown and
uncharted territory for many. Our
only examples may be our own parents which for some is enough and for others
may be seriously lacking as good role models. As a new parent find other experienced role models or
mentors who can provide a caring shoulder to lean on and supportive advice when
needed. Equally important, find
someone both you and your spouse can agree to agree with. One of the biggest challenges of
parenting is reconciling different parenting styles which come from our
different family backgrounds.
Sometimes it takes a third party to calm the waters.
I’d love to hear from
readers; what are the most difficult questions or situations you’ve had to deal
with. How have you handled it?
